Old Guard Kobold Songs

[Scott]

I've found the song the Old Guard Kobolds will sing in my dungeon: Le Chant de l'Oignon
You know the end is near when you hear this.


Le Chant de l'Oignon (The Song of the Onion)

J'aime l'oignon frît à l'huile, (I love onion fried with oil,)
J'aime l'oignon quand il est bon, (I love the onion when it's good,)
J'aime l'oignon frît à l'huile, (I love onion fried with oil,)
J'aime l'oignon, j'aime l'oignon. (I love onion, I love onion.)

(refrain)
Au pas camarade, au pas camarade, (Let's charge comrades, let's charge comrades.)
Au pas, au pas, au pas. (Let's charge, let's charge, let's charge)
Au pas camarade, au pas camarade, (Let's charge comrades, let's charge comrades.)
Au pas, au pas, au pas. (Let's charge, let's charge, let's charge)

Un seul oignon frît à l'huile, (One onion fried with oil,)
Un seul oignon nous change en lion, (One onion we change into a lion,)
Un seul oignon frît à l'huile (One onion fried with oil,)
Un seul oignon nous change en lion. (One onion we change into a lion,)

(refrain)

Mais pas d'oignons aux Autrichiens, (But no onions for the Austrians)
Non pas d'oignons à tous ces chiens, (No onions for all these dogs)
Mais pas d'oignons aux Autrichiens, (But no onions for the Austrians)
Non pas d'oignons, non pas d'oignons. (No onions, no onions)

(refrain)

Aimons l'oignon frît à l'huile, (Love the onion fried with oil.)
Aimons l'oignon car il est bon, (Love the onion because it's good,)
Aimons l'oignon frît à l'huile, (Love the onion fried with oil.)
Aimons l'oignon, aimons l'oignon (Love the onion, love the onion.)

(refrain)
Maybe just change Austrians to PCs

[geneweigel]

I just pictured the French taunting scene from MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL on the parapets of the Greyhawk Castle...

"Go away, silly adventurer persons!"

Seriously, why not? A French war chant sounds part and parcel of Castle Greyhawk's interdimensionality!

[Scott]

My son Gavin is pretty good at old style dungeon crawling. He listens at doors, checks for secret doors, etc. One thing he's stubborn about is stuck doors. it hasn't clicked yet that crashing into the door again and again alerts the occupants and attracts wandering monsters. After his 4th open doors roll, he heard the marching and singing of the Old Guard Kobolds. He was very lucky in that fight. The kobolds' biggest threat is the oil the hurl, and they missed every roll. Once they're engaged, they're just slightly tougher kobolds. He did the smart thing after the battle though and ran from that part of the dungeon.

[geneweigel]

My daughters are into game mainstream but they look at what I'm into like its too dusty. The older one made a character years ago ("SPONGEBOB the fighter") and the younger one recently asked to make a "princess fighter". I don't know about playing an actual game because they'd want to invite their friends then that just sounds bizarre.

Besides I can't even get them to read Poe not to mention Lovecraft not to mention Howard not to mention Leiber not to mention Gygax!

They both read parts and excerpts from THE HOBBIT but the movies have killed the imaginative in regards to that.

They are completely into MINECRAFT multiplayer.

[Scott]

Ha, kids. Gavin's fighter is named Finn, from Adventure Time. Years ago when my nephew and cousin first started playing they went through a series of characters with names taken from Pokemon.
I've read some of the Hobbit to the little ones, and we've listened to the audiobook together. I've read a teaser or two of Conan to Gavin, but we haven't jumped in yet.

[geneweigel]

They're all Pokemon-ed out especially the youngest. She got it from some next generation (parent?) Pokemon superfan in her class.

I can't stand ADVENTURE TIME but they're always watching it. I'm always yelling "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOUT?"

[Scott]

Adventure Time started out good, it was basically a D&D cartoon, but it sort of weirded out as the series progressed.

[geneweigel]

Yeah, the kids got me into this show called THE REGULAR SHOW. Its 15 minutes apiece. When I first saw it, I was a little taken aback by what seemed like an attack on D&D in this episode:

www.dailymotion.com/video/x17xbb3_regular-show-212-but-i-have-a-receipt_tv

But once I got into it the show's concept, its more of a parody of crap D&D. It makes fun of 1980's phenomena with a modern twist now I watch it all the time with them.

[Scott]

They're Regular Show watchers, and a Disney XD show called Gravity Falls is another quirky one they watch.

The new Scooby Doo show, Mystery Inc, is pretty good. One episode, the Shrieking Madness, is totally Lovecraft. Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator) voices Professor Hatecraft, and the 'monster' Char-Gar Gothakon is a mind flayer, with psionic blast.
in another episode a monster from Shaggy's old D&D campaign comes back.

[geneweigel]

Yeah, they were watching GRAVITY FALLS too. The older one was into Scooby years ago but Scoobied out with toys and videos.

The older one (she's going to be 13) is into "geek is cool" crap (anime', manga, YouTubers, etc.) so thats pretty annoying.